burn a weak heart
this is your punishment.
spoilers for season 4. thanks to lenina20 for the title help and the encouragement, as always.
psych_30: #26 obsession – Juliet

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This is your punishment. You left him and now you're here and Jack is bleeding on your knees and you have to send him away.

The chopper carries six, Ben told you, and you get to pick them. And Jack is bleeding on your knees and Hugo won't make it through the night if he stays on the beach.

Home. There's a helicopter and it could take you home and Ben knows, you care about these people. Jack bleeds, Hugo may be dying, Sun can't stay or she will die for sure.

You're so tired and the way out is just beyond your fingertips. You could leave; he's giving you a choice and that's the cruellest thing he's done yet. Jack bleeds, Hugo dies, Sun has no future on this island and Aaron cries 30 feet away in his mother's arms.

There was war and Ben won, like you knew he would and everyone around you is… it's up to you now. Jack, Hurley, Sun, Aaron still cries, breaking your eardrums, breaking your heart. Sayid's file – he can fly.

"Okay," you say. Deep breaths have no room here. "Sayid, Jack, Hugo," you add in a whispered stream. There are dozens of them and only enough room for six. You were always good at math. "Sun."

Held at gunpoint, they stare at you and the hate you feel from them is nothing. Sayid and Sun and Jack and Hurley is a big guy. Only five then; you could go too.

You look into his eyes and you know, he'll never let you go. You may go home but you'll never be free of him and why, oh why did you drink the orange juice? Alice at 9 feet tall had nothing on you.

"Kate," you tell him. You'll stay and he smiles, his eyes sparkle; you crumble inside.

Ben shouts, leader of his people once more, it cost him nothing and it will cost you everything. Somebody lifts Jack's body from your knees and you wet your fingers with his blood.

Sayid will fly, Jack will have one more scar, Hurley will live and Sun will give birth. Jack loves Kate, you said her name.

Ben takes your hand, holds it like a boy. "Say goodbye to your friends, Juliet."

Aaron cries and Claire has a gun pointed at her back. You pull away from Ben and he lets you go, you're his and you won't go far.

The baby is tiny and slightly undernourished, you think. You look at the mother in the eyes and beg her to trust you. Her arms tighten around her blue blanket.

"I saved your life," you lie. "I'll save his."

You nod at the man with the gun and he grabs her, you take the baby away and she begs, begs, begs. You walk away until her screams blend with the propellers and you hold the child, whispering sorry and forgive me. The dust hurts your eyes and the tears burn and you climb inside wishing you could stay. You push the baby into another woman's arms and her tears mix with his, but this is the right thing to do.

Ben waits for you and when the helicopter fades in the distance and all you can hear are a mother's sobs you know home is not for you anymore.


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psych_30 table is h e r e.